You’ve been sensing that something is missing as you settle in to the second half of your life and you can’t quite put your finger on what it is. You notice that a lot of your time is spent lamenting your choices and finding faults in others.
You hear yourself saying “Why did I choose the responsible yet cool partner when I could have had more adventure with someone else?” “Is she really wearing that? She’s too old and looks ridiculous!”
It’s easier for you to pick yourself or others apart rather than confront what you know will move you forward- an excavation of your stuck thoughts and beliefs and a reset.
You see- your vibration lowers when you allow yourself to hang out in fear, grief or powerlessness. And since like attracts like, you get what you put out there- more negativity, guilt or despair.
In order to pull yourself up and live with more joy and freedom, you’ve got to rediscover your unique brilliance. When you get crystal clear on what brings meaning to your life, it gives you the roadmap to create the habits and patterns needed to keep your vibration higher. It starts with some deep self-awareness and inquiry. Here are three techniques I use for myself and my clients:
Grab a journal and at least 15 minutes of quiet time and begin to write about all you’ve accomplished in your life. Start with things you may take for granted like learning to walk, to speak, tie your shoes and build upon those with your phenomenal accomplishments like raising children, building your career, surviving illness, or losing 50 pounds – whatever you can think of that makes you feel proud and amazed at yourself. You’ve survived and done a lot, so own it and use that fuel to move you forward.
Identify those behaviors and beliefs that you’ve formed over the years that just keep you spinning in the same cycle of negativity and vow to replace them with something that puts you back in the zone of your true strengths again.
Do you tend to procrastinate? Gossip? Not take proper care of yourself and end up burnt out? Believe that life after 50 is an inevitable spiral down to despair, depression and ultimately death?
Look back over the last year and make a list of what didn’t work, what weighed you down, got you stuck in resentment and commit to stop doing them- effective immediately!
These engrained ways of thinking are blocking the way from the happiness and fulfillment you deserve.
Allow yourself to dream and visualize without reservation about what you really want. You are planting the seeds to make it happen even if it’s hard to see it for yourself right now. Bring in all the details you can – What do you see? How does it make you feel? Who is with you? Where are you? What smells are around you? What sounds do you hear?
The more senses and emotions you can conjure into your vision, the more real it becomes at a subconscious level. Neuroscientists predict that 95% of our decisions, emotions, actions and behaviors are generated in a non-conscious way, so it is certainly worth it to send the signals for what you really want to that level. Plus- it will make it feel more real and achievable.
You’ve got plenty of life left to live. It’s time to clear out the cobwebs and make time to do what you love and overcome what’s stopping you so you can enjoy your life more. 🌻
Beth Nelson is an inspiration and leader for women who are ready to awaken into the fullest version of themselves at midlife and leave a meaningful impact on the world. As a Women’s Midlife Mentor, confused and disengaged women in their 50s and 60s hire her to build the necessary confidence to reinvent themselves and create a life full of passion, purpose and authenticity.